After we finished dinner, we all decided to watch Garden State since Robert hadn’t seen it. Robert and I sat beside each other on the sofa. I wanted him to put his arm around me SO bad. It wasn’t long into the movie before Chad decided to turn in for the night. I thought it was a little odd that he would turn in so early. A little while later, I told Cathleen she could have Ginger’s room that night if she wanted. She decided that was more a suggestion than an offer. She told us she was going to go in there and do some of her homework because she’d seen the movie before anyway. And then it dawned on me. They were leaving us alone!
I smiled and said “Alone at last!” and I very cautiously leaned into him. He put his arm around me and then I don’t think anything in the world could have made that moment any better. The movie ended. We turned off the tv and just stayed on the sofa, cuddling. Not saying much. After a little while, I started to fall asleep. He suggested we move to the futon on the other side of the room. We unfolded the futon, laid down, and resumed snuggling. I was so relaxed. So calm. So comfortable. I’d forgotten how nice it was to feel that way. I said goodnight. I was already halfway gone when I hear Robert ask me “Ashleigh? Can I kiss you good night?”
So what you’re telling me, Universe, is that this man that I am unbelievably head over heels for is also an actual gentleman?
I woke up *very* quickly. I pretended to mull over the answer in my head. “Hmmm can you kiss me good night? I don’t know….Um….well…. Yes.”
As far as first kisses go, I would rate it an 11. It was nowhere near my first kiss, but it may as well have been. What a difference a kiss makes when there is true emotion behind it! This was completely different than anything I’d ever experienced. I’d never kissed anyone who really loved me. It was electric. It sent chills down my spine and made my face hot.
Another night, not much sleep.
I woke up early again. Rob was still asleep. As soon as Chad went to work, I took a shower. I started singing to myself. I couldn’t contain my happiness. The night before was like some wonderful dream. The first song to emerge from my lips was “The First Day of My Life” by Bright Eyes. All of a sudden, I understood. I really understood. I got dressed and laid back down on the futon. My hair was still wet. I couldn’t find a hair dryer. Rob awoke as I got comfortable. He smiled and kissed me good morning. Then he commented that my hair smelled like oranges. And then he pretended to eat my hair. He didn’t have too long before he needed to leave. He went to go have a shower. I fell asleep while waiting for him. He came back out and when I was asleep, he sat on the couch and waited, hoping I would wake up again. Finally, Cathleen came out and encouraged him to go ahead and wake me, that I probably wouldn’t mind.
We spent about an hour kind of giggling to ourselves about the night before. I helped him pack the rest of his things. It was finally time for him to leave. I would be in Dallas two more days, without him. I walked down to the parking lot with him, holding the CD I had made. I’d waited to give it to him. I wanted him to listen to it on his way home. If things hadn’t have gone well, I probably wouldn’t have given it to him at all. Beside the car, I started to well up. I didn’t want to cry in front of him. I wanted to be strong. We wrapped our arms around each other and kissed goodbye. He drove away as I walked back up to the apartment.
Cathleen came out of Ginger’s room and found me sitting on the sofa, staring at the wall. Tears were rolling down my cheeks as I tried unsuccessfully to suppress the lump in my throat. The only thing I could say was “I promised myself I wasn’t going to do this!” and to this day I’m not exactly sure what I meant. I could have meant I promised I wouldn’t fall for a guy that lives that far away, I could have meant I promised I wasn’t going to put my heart on the line again, but thankfully I think she thought I meant that I promised myself that I wouldn’t cry. The only promise I’d made on that note was not to do it in front of him.
At least that one, I kept.
Tags: My story