The first morning, I could hardly contain myself. It was now daylight, there were few plans for the day, and the man in the middle of stealing my heart was in the next room.
One thing I’ve come to know in the years that Robert and I have been together, is that when he is not well – rested, he becomes extremely irritable and has a low-tolerance for all things silly. A lot of people are this way, but I was not this way on this particular day. This particular day, I was extremely unpredictable. Well, let’s face it. I was just plain annoying. So to be clear, we have one irritated and grumpy man in his late twenties, and we have an annoying 19 year old. Um, So have you ever tried to mix oil and water? It just didn’t work. As soon as I realized the day wasn’t going well, I started to shut down. In retrospect that was probably even worse. We all walked to Good Records that evening for their fifth anniversary party. Rob got stuck inside during a show by a band he wasn’t all that crazy about, and the rest of us were congregated outside chatting with some of the girls from Eisley (I told you they were a small band). When we went back to Chad’s apartment, I was asleep by 8:00pm. I spent the first half of the day being annoying and the second half of the day being anti-social. Oh yeah, the way to charm the guy you’re in love with. For sure.
But the next morning, lo’ and behold. I started my period. This…explained so much. However, I was completely unprepared. It was the first time I’d started a period in 2 years. (Ah, stress.) Thankfully Chad lived with his sister so I was able to temporarily borrow some of her stuff until I was able to get to a store to replace them. This is going to sound strange to a lot of you, and I know it, but I took it as a sign. IT WAS A SIGN. My life was officially going in the right direction. I was over the moon excited (despite how painful it was after a two year gap). It was sunday morning. I was given two gifts that day. My other gift was a new day and a new chance. I figured I’d better start it off on the right foot. I made custom omelets for everyone. The way to a man’s heart….
We spent some time at the Fort Worth Stockyards that day. It was the middle of February and it was 70 something degrees that day. My mind was blown. We talked and laughed, and we finally clicked. We walked up and down the streets, wandering in and out of the gift shops. I bought a snow globe that played “Deep In the Heart of Texas”. We drove into downtown Fort Worth and wandered around a little more. We went to Barnes and Noble. Rob tried to find “Me Talk Pretty One Day” by David Sedaris and I tried to find “A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius” by Dave Eggers. We both ended up leaving pretty empty handed. I remember thinking “Our hands wouldn’t be empty if you would just take mine in yours!”. I’m extremely cheesy. We drove back to Deep Ellum. Cathleen decided she wanted to cook dinner since I’d made breakfast for everyone. She asked Chad to drive her to a grocery store so she could buy what she needed. As a side effect of Chad and Cathleen being gone… Robert and I finally had some time to ourselves. We sat beside each other on the sofa, not sure of what to say to each other. There were a lot of things that we weren’t saying. Many elephants in the room. I don’t think either of us knew how to begin talking about it. But here we were, finally alone. This is what I wanted, right? I wanted to be alone with him so we could talk and laugh and maybe even flirt? The lock on the door clicked and Chad’s sister walked into the apartment.
Another wasted moment.
Ginger had come to pick up a few things. She’d agreed to stay at her boyfriend’s place while we were all here. By the time Ginger was ready to leave again, Chad and Cathleen had arrived with the groceries. I stood up off of the couch and walked into the kitchen to help Cathleen prepare the dinner while the boys watched The Simpsons. I knew he had to leave the next morning. I was suddenly internally devastated by all the wasted moments over the course of the last two days. I held on to a small amount of hope. It was only 7:00pm, after all…
Tags: My story