Girl Talk Thursday “…with heaving bosoms…”

I remember being a pre-teen (back before the term “tween” had been coined) being in my room with my shoddy old 13″ black and white tv.  Every afternoon at 4:00pm one of the local stations would show Blossom re-runs. You know, that show about the supremely enthusiastic teen trying to deal with the new family dynamic.  There was an episode called “True Romance” in which Blossom decides she’s going to write a romance novel to pay for her college education.  There are a couple of scenes that illustrate what Blossom is writing in her notebook.  She’s dressed up as a pirate princess and some big muscular man woos her with sweet words and her favorite kind of pizza.  Even as an 11 year old I was pretty sure that wasn’t how those romance novels worked.  Now don’t get me wrong, I’m sure plenty of women have been wooed by the intoxicating smell of pizza, but it doesn’t exactly scream romance.

And then I got married and had a child.

Now my romance n0vel sounds a little like this…

(summary)

Ashleigh is a 20-something woman with cutting wit and a big heart.  Married four years to a man she met in the most unlikeliest of places – The internet- Ashleigh has found herself in somewhat of a rut. She goes about her day job doing her best to keep herself together and returns home to be a loving wife and mother. Ashleigh is somewhat remiss that she no longer has any time for herself between all the cooking and the cleaning and the diapering.  She dreams of the day where she’ll be swept off her feet by her husband once more. One rainy Thursday evening, Ashleigh finds herself in desperation. She’s weary. Her bosom is heaving.  Her head is pounding. Her husband enters the room, takes Ashleigh in his arms and says to her ” You’re the most beautiful creature I’ve ever seen, even when you have bags under your eyes and your hair is all messed up. Relax darling, I brought you a pineapple pizza.”

*swoon*

Okay, so I’ve never read a romance novel. You got me.

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10 Responses to “Girl Talk Thursday “…with heaving bosoms…””

  1. Diane Says:

    OMG PIZZA. That is the true romance.

  2. MommyGeekology Says:

    teeehee! That’s pretty funny 😉

    Maybe I’ll have to send you one…. lol

  3. Cheryl Says:

    Sounds like a happy ending to me. 🙂

  4. Kelly Says:

    Love it. I realized in writing my little storyline that my husband is also my dashing male lead. I also love how you worked a heaving bosom into it. 🙂

  5. Tatiana Says:

    Hell yes. I want that scenario in real life! Embraces, compliments, and pizza? Awwh yeah.

  6. Elissa Says:

    Pineapple Pizza! I’m sold right there.

  7. Stacy Says:

    He only says two words, and somehow, it’s enough.

    “Star Pizza.”

  8. Caity Says:

    Ashleigh you are so awesome. I’d read that romance novel any day.

  9. Patty Says:

    You’ll know you’ve still got it when he comes home on your 58th birthday and says, “Don’t cook! I brought pizza and flowers!”

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